It's a Yule Tide!

Last Saturday, my boyfriend and I met up with my brother in New York City for Santacon. It was really fun!!! Something like 3000 people dressed up as Santas, or some other holiday thing. Here are the best photos:

So Many Santas! (If you look past the train, you will see a red and white mass. Those are more Santas.)

We are Santas!

Santas at a Toys for Tots bar (these bars gave proceeds to Toys for Tots).

We finally came to my brother's favorite bar: the Crocodile Lounge. They give you free pizza when you order a beer.

After that, my camera ran out of batteries, which was unfortunate, as we had a very fun time, including purchasing Christmas cookies from a church we found, and basically walking around New York being Santas. I think we spread some holiday cheer. Small children were happy to see us.

Falcon

I saw a falcon today, walking back from the gym. It landed in the grass a few yards from me. I was surprised at how big it was up close. I didn't have a camera with me. It looked up at a nearby tree and I think it was watching a squirrel thet was there. Then, it flew up to another tree and watched the squirrel some more. It was cool. I like falcons.

Seasonal craziness

Today was such a beautiful day. It was my mom's birthday weekend, but unfortunately, pretty much everyone had colds, so we didn't really do anything. Which, I suppose is for the best. Usually, I get this feeling that if I don't do everything I can that I'm missing out on something. This weekend, I just relaxed and watched the leaves fall, more or less. Also, Mom's having her kitchen remodeled so she can't really cook anything. We ordered Chinese and watched tv.
Last weekend was my birthday and we didn't really do anything then, either. Dad and my boyfriend were in Pittsburg cleaning out the basement of my late grandmother's house. Mom, Grandpa, and I went out for dinner, but we had to make it back home for the season finale of Doctor Who! It was worth it to not have a fancy dinner. We picked up an ice cream cake and watched the show. I love Doctor Who, and I thought the finale was incredible.
The weekend before that was Mabon, and I made my family's special apple pie recipe, all the more meaningful this year as my grandmother, the originator of the recipe, passed away this year. The holiday service was good. The focus was on thanksgiving and change. We said what we were thankful for, and changes we hoped for. I made a red/brown medieval outfit for the holiday. It was my first using a sewing machine rather than just my hands. I will have pictures of my crafts, including the outfits, as soon as I get a camera, I swear.
October promises to be busy. I have a wedding to attend, and of course all of the Halloween hoopla. It's the biggest holiday of the year, and I don't like missing out on things. This year, one of my friends is having a birthday party in New York City, and it would be unfortunate if I didn't see my brother while I was there. Last year, I didn't do much of anything for Samhain because of an insane work schedule, so I guess I'm making up for it this year. Just more craziness, I expect. I love Samhain, though. My favorite day of the year. I wait all year for it, and I always try to make it last as long as possible.

The Sweetest Place on Earth, also Zeus Won't Let Me Win Mini-Golf

Even though I haven't been at work since my internship thingy ended, I haven't been writing any more than I was before, mostly because not much has been happening.
Most of this week, I've had a tremendous sense of impending doom. I hate when that happens. It usually happens when something big changes, like my internship ending and having to find a real job. This time it was pretty bad. I felt like my hair was bleeding. I solved the problem mostly with my rune stones, which always calm me, and my mind-tuner app, which programs calm brain waves. (You can also have it wake you up, put you to sleep, or help you concentrate. I like this app.) After about 4 hours of this, I felt better.
Friday Night Football
Friday night, my boyfriend and I drove to my parents' house. During dinner, he saw that the local high school homecoming game was that night, and being a fan of all forms of sport, especially football, he wanted badly to go. I had never actually gone to a football game, even in high school, and so I figured that we could go for 5 minutes and leave. I figured if we were going to go, we might as well wear my old school colors. (I went to the local high school my freshman year, and went to boarding school after that.) I found my warm-ups from when I was on the swim team all those years ago.
We headed out to the high school. I was okay walking around the school, but once we got to the actual football field, it was pretty painful. The score was something like forty to thirteen, and not in our favor, but the really painful part was the noise. The announcer was WAY too loud, and people yelling while packed in way too tight, and the lights were brighter than anything should ever be at night.
Now I remember why I never went to any of these. Even in high school I knew it wouldn't work out. After a few minutes, we went home and watched stand-up on Netflix.
Hershey Park and Chinchillas
The next day was Hershey Park. Every summer requires at least one trip to Hershey Park. When my brother and I were little, Mom bought us season tickets every year and we went all the time. Summer is strange without Hershey. This summer, I was working most of the time, so I didn't really get to go. I tried to go last weekend, but I was stopped by Hurricane Irene. So, the last weekend of the season was actually the only weekend I could go, so I went and I dragged my boyfriend with me.
It started out rainy, but the rain went away about noonish and we had a LOT of fun at the boardwalk. I love the wave pool! It's the funnest thing ever! I also got cotton candy and I got to ride on all my favorite rides. Also, we went to ZooAmerica and saw the neat animals. All in all, a very nice day.
When I got home, my brother was there and he had brought home his chinchilla, Chinchi (sometimes called Chinny). My brother, my boyfriend and I went to the Tractor Supply store and got cage wire. We set up a large play area for the chinchilla and my pet bunny to play together. It was very cute and adorable.
Zeus Won't Let Me Win Mini-Golf
Sunday night, one of my brother's friends came over, and we decided to go play mini- golf, and we decided to go about 20 minutes before it was going to close for the night. We were informed that the north section was closed, so we played the south section. My brother and I both felt a small rain drop before the first hole, but we didn't worry. As it turns out, I played the best game of my life, including my first ever hole in one! Unfortunately, the one little drop turned into more little drops, the more bigger drops, and soon, it was storming so hard we didn't know if it was us or the wind getting the ball in the hole. We were all literally soaked to the skin. At some point, the lights went out and we were lining up shots by the light of lightning bolts. Although we didn't finish the whole game because of the weather, I still felt that I won. My score was the lowest, and, as I said, it was the best game I ever played. It was an exciting adventure.
We got home and played games. First was Jenga, but I'm not very good at that. After Jenga, we played Risk 2212. Also fun. I was doing well, but I've never seen a strategy game of any kind that my brother didn't consistently win.

First an earthquake, now a hurricane

Today is the first day that I don't have to work. Well, technically, yesterday was, but it was spent trying to drive from my parent's house to my apartment on post-hurricane roads and some other surprises I'll get into later.
The big thing that happened over the weekend was, of course, Hurricane Irene. My mom called on Friday and said to pack up everything I cared about when I came over this weekend. We left my Deity statues on my altar to protect the apartment.
Originally, I had wanted to go to Hershey Park, but we figured it would be closed. I guess I'll go next weekend. Anyway, my boyfriend and I packed up our more precious things, at least things that could be carried, and headed to my parents' house. Friday night, we got there and set up the bunny in her cage, then watched the Doctor Who marathon on BBC America. I love Doctor Who. I stayed up until 1 am watching it.
On Saturday, the skies started to darken, and Hershey Park wasn't going to happen, so my boyfriend and I took a nice long walk around the neighborhood. When we came back, most of the rest of the day was spent watching the weather channel tracking the storm. I was sleepy most of the time because I can never really wake up if the sun is hiding. It started to get more interesting later in the afternoon when it started raining more heavily.
We made an offering to the storm Gods in the form of the smell of dinner (according to ancient Greek tradition, the Gods like the smell of cooking meat, but not the taste, so the people actually eat the meat). Apparently, it worked, because the power stayed on all the way through the season premiere of Doctor Who.
When we woke up, there was no power. My boyfriend and I accompanied my mom to church, mostly to see how everything had held up. I'm glad to say the church held up well. It is a beautiful neogothic building with gargoyles and huge arches and stained glass windows. The roof is a bit leaky and needs to be fixed (for more info on the church, go to stlukeslebanon.org). There was a grand total of ten people in the congregation who had decided to venture out.
After church, we picked up my dad and went to Mel's diner, a Sunday tradition for my family, and extremely popular today as it seems that the diners had retained power capabilities while most houses hadn't.
After brunch, we went to Lebanon Valley College and walked around. There were a few people from the community using the gym facilities for showers and such as the storm had knocked out theirs.
When the sky was clear, we let the bunny run around the back yard she was happy to jump and eat grass. She had been cooped up throughout the storm. Also, my mom got out her sewing machine and showed me how to use it so I can speed up my historical wardrobe project.
On Monday, my parents were at work, and my boyfriend and I went out for doughnuts. He had to see the thrift store one more time, and I went to Jo-Ann fabrics to get some nice Halloweeny fabric. We went back to the house to pack up, and just as we were pulling up to the house, there was a POP! SSSSsssssssss! And my boyfriend and I got out of the car to watch the front passenger side of the car sink as the air was released from the tire. He went to the tire place while I packed up. It took a few hours, but we were finally underway. There was traffic, and confusion, but finally we made it back to the apartment. Luckily, nothing had fallen or broken. My Gods and Goddesses had done their job well.

Creative Freedom

Last night, I turned in the last of my comprehensive exams. This means that I only have two more days of my internship and I need to turn in my papers regarding that, but then I'm done. Completely. I will have no more work to do toward my second Master's of Science.
It's strange not to have homework. I've been doing nothing but work from the minute I got home to the time I went to sleep so long that when I finished, I actually didn't know what to do with myself. Tonight, I think I'll go shopping and finally get that camera that I want so I can post pictures of things.
I know, of course, that now I have to start looking for a job and all that, which will not be pleasant, and will be a lot of work as well, but I don't intend to spend every waking moment on it. Even when I get a real job, I won't have homework, so I'll still have more time for me than I do now. I definitely plan to update this blog more, and to get in shape and enjoy my art.
I've been starving my creativity for a year now, with all this constant work. I did sewing and knitting, and I embroidered my friend's stole, but I also need to paint and draw and make jewelry. Maybe I should get a part-time job at a craft store. I know how to use nearly everything in the store, and I could probably teach a few of their classes. I really want to learn to draw comics better. I used to do that a lot early in high school. I really enjoyed it. I gave it up when my workload became too much and my parents made it clear that they would never pay for my education if I was an art major. I enjoy science, but I can't live without art. Actually, I did a painting of string theory, and I would like to do more "science-y" art. I've started making planet beads for a solar system necklace. Of course, I'm still working on my historical wardrobe project. That's slowed a lot with the work I've had, but it should pick up when my mom gives me her sewing machine.
I have many wonderful ideas. I can't wait to play with them!

Earthquake in Philadelphia

I was at work yesterday when the building started shaking. It was a little rumbly, then it swayed side-to-side. Everyone looked around at each other. We were all thinking more or less the same thing.
An earthquake? In Phillie? Seriously?
Honestly, it was more amusing than anything else. You know, something to break the monotony of the day. I wasn't terribly concerned, as it was very small, and nothing fell over, but there can be damage you can't see, especially in a place like Philadelphia where there are buildings over 200 years old, and even he newer buildings were never designed for an earthquake. I probably would have been less concerned had I been in California where the buildings have been built with earthquakes in mind.
I was done with everything I had to do for the day, so I decided to go home to see how my precious pet rabbit was taking it.
I kept trying to call people, but my cell wasn't working, probably because everyone was trying to call everyone else. I had to wait over an hour brother train, so it took a while to get home. I got through to my mom, who said she hadn't noticed until the news came on, but she's having work done on the house, so she's used to things shaking a bit. My dad noticed it at work. My brother is in Greece right now, but if he was home in NY, I know he'd be one of the guys on the stock exchange that just yelled "Keep trading!" I tried to call my boyfriend for over an hour, but he never picked up, and I was a bit worried because he works in yard work/construction and works with things weighing several thousand pounds, and I wanted to make sure none of them fell on him, but, as usual, he didn't take his phone, and I would just have to wait and see what happened when it was time for him to get home.
Finally, I got home to my apartment about two and a half hours after the actual quake and my poor little bunny was cowering in her cage with a "WTF WAS THAT?!?!" expression. Several little things had fallen, not big enough to hurt anything, but big enough to scare a miniature rabbit. I'm glad we had left her in her cage. Sometimes we leave her out so she can run around and play, but she has been chewing things, so she stays in her cage when we're not there. (It is a largish cage with toys and things, so the only thing she can't do is run.) It's a pretty strong cage, so it would have protected her had anything large fallen down, at least for a while. I opened the cage and gave her a little pet, and she slowly came out and tested the ground to see if it would shake again. I cuddled her and she relaxed.
I went to go work on my comprehensive exams, and she went to play with her beach ball. Later, she came into the bedroom with me and hid under the bed. She likes being under the bed. In a while, she started to explore the post-shaky apartment, and came across a bag of candy corn that had fallen down. I took it away, but she was still incredibly hyper for several hours.
Finally, my boyfriend got home and I yelled at him for not having his phone. His position was that as he does dangerous work requiring focus, he doesn't want people calling him all the time. My position was that he's perfectly capable of finishing the task at hand and calling me back at a free moment, and that I usually don't call him during the day, and hadn't have done so today if the earth hadn't literally shaken, and that having a cell phone in his jeans pocket during the day is not a major distraction from work, especially if he only checks it on breaks or when there is a major event, like an earthquake in Philadelphia. My position won.
Everything is fine, and it was a very interesting day.

Happy 100th Birthday, Aunt Bert!

Last weekend (August 12th-15th), I went toRacine, WI for my great aunt's 100th birthday party. It was incredibly fun. Her birthday is actually in October, but this was the only time the whole family could get together, and when you're talking about 100 years, what difference do a few months really make?
On Friday, my parents and my grandfather picked me up at my apartment and we drove to the airport. I had bought a shiny new skein of rainbow yarn to entertain myself with on the airplane. By the time we got to Racine, I had most of a bag done. I decided to finish it and give it to my aunt as a birthday present, along with the pompon I had made for her hat. (The pompon had been a request.) We made our way to the Ravine Radisson, where my mother, being the center of all activity, had requested the biggest room in the hotel. Everyone always hangs out in her room when we go anywhere, so it was really a good idea. It had its own kitchen, which was good because we had a place to put leftovers, and we got breakfast items and ate breakfast in the room instead of spending$10 for breakfast somewhere. Interestingly, the room also had a whirlpool bath, but it was not in the bathroom. It was next to the bed. There was a separate bathtub in the bathroom. This turned out to be useful as well as my cousin is still recovering from a badly broken leg, and he had his leg in the hot whirlpool when everyone was hanging out in the room.
On Friday evening, we were going to go to some fancy restaurant where one of my aunts had made reservations, but that fell through, so we decided to go to my Aunt Bertha and Aunt Mary's (the great aunts- it was Bertha's 100th that we were celebrating) favorite restaurant, The Corner House. It was delicious food and a nice place to be generally. Most of us had the walleyed pike, which had come from the lake only a few blocks away. The owner of the restaurant happened to be there that night, and he was walking around and talking to people. We told him the occasion for which we had come, and he was quite surprised. He asked Aunt Bert what her secret was, and she replied that it was because she ate at The Corner House regularly! He laughed and we all took pictures, and we told him that, according to our itinerary, we would be eating there on Sunday as well. He called over the waitress that would be serving us on Sunday and told her to take special care of us. He also made Aunt Bert a special birthday sundae with vanilla ice cream, brandy, cocoa, and nutmeg.
After dinner, the great aunts went home to sleep, and everyone else was hanging out in my mom's hotel room. I happened to be sharing the room with my mom. Everyone decided that they would go to the bar for drinks, but I elected not to go as I was tired and at the end of my endurance for socialization for the day.
On Saturday, we went to the Racine zoo. It was a small zoo, but nice, and the animals had many toys to play with, but the tiger seemed very sad. He was pacing around his enclosure, over and over again in the same path. The meerkats seemed happy, though, with their lookout on top of the mound, and the others tunneling away. The mountain goats were climbing their crag, and the penguins, whose scheduled feeding time was a mere fifteen minutes away, were staring expectantly at the area where the fish came out. The sky had been threatening for some time, and it started to open up. Most of the family took refuge under a large picnic tent, but my brother, my dad, and I decided to see if we could see the bear. The bear had taken shelter from the storm, as had the meerkats and the mountain goats. The penguins, however, hadn't moved, and were still staring expectantly at the food opening.
That night was the big birthday celebration in a big restaurant on the pier. We watched the boats out on the water and had another party. Aunt Heidi had made centerpieces out of antique bingo cards (one of Aunt Bert's favorite pastimes is bingo) with pictures of Aunt Bert and quotes from her. This was the biggest party as there were 5 people who came in on Saturday and had to leave during the day on Sunday. It was big and loud and I talked to Aunt Mary about crafts.
After dinner, there was hanging out in mom's hotel room.
Sunday was beach day. The lake was quite murky because the wind had stirred up the sand underneath, but at least you don't have to worry about sharks and things like you do in New Jersey. Also, it's fresh water, not salt water, so you don't get the salt taste in your mouth. There is, however, algae that comes in clumps that I'm still picking out of my hair. It's very nice, though. Aunt Heidi sat in her beach chair and enjoyed the sun while Aunt Gretchen and I walked the beach and swam in the waves.
That night, it was back to The Corner House for dinner, which was still wonderful. We were well taken care of by the waitress we had met on Friday.
After dinner, more hanging out in mom's room, but with less people than the night before.
On Monday morning, mom and I took a last walk down by the beach. After that, we packed and checked out of the hotel and went to Aunt Bert's house before going to the airport for the flight home.
All in all, a very fun weekend.

A belated Lammas post

I have not posted in a long time, mostly because I'm getting to the end of my accelerated degree, and everything in due in very short order. I have a major paper and several online exams left to go, as well as a presentation of said paper.
I'm taking some time to write between the incubation steps of my cell culture.
This past weekend, while I worked all Friday night after work and all day Sunday, on Saturday I took some time with my friends. We decided to celebrate Lammas together in Ocean Grove, NJ. We met up around noon and enjoyed the water on such a hot day. We caught up with each other and told about how our lives are going. Carri's ministry is starting to get off the ground. She's been doing several weddings, especially now that gay marriages are legal in New York. She told me about a couple of men that she married recently who had had a civil union for five years, but they'd been in a committed relationship for over twenty years. Can you imagine not being able to marry your true love for twenty years? Carri has also been doing baby blessings and services of remembrance. After we were done swimming, we went to a restaurant, Kaya's Kitchen, with delicious food and a fun ambiance. It being Lammas, or close enough to it, we asked Carri to say a blessing over the food, but she said it was already blessed as it came from the Earth. We considered the wisdom in this, and enjoyed our meal.
Generally, for Lammas, my standard celebration includes baking bread and drinking beer, sometimes making beer bread, to honor the God of the Grains that is cut down in this season's harvest (Lammas being the first of the harvest holidays), but this year I just enjoyed the Earth and the Sea and thanked them for what they had to offer me, and what they give me every day.
I was actually considering not going on Saturday, in light of the massive workload that I have, but as my friends pointed out, I would have just been spending my time upset that I wasn't at the beach celebrating the holiday, which is hardly productive. It's good to take some time, even at our busiest moments, or maybe especially then, to appreciate the blessings of the Earth.

July 4th weekend

Happy 4th of July, everyone! Well, belated, as it is now the 5th.
I had a very good weekend, and for once didn't try to do everything. I think that's why it ended up being as good as it was.
First of all, on Friday morning, I went to the career office for my appointment, and I am extremely happy about how it went. Apparently, the counselor at my career office actually has experience with working with autism spectrum disorders, so for once, it was actually helpful! Yay! She critiqued my resume, and she gave me worksheets with lists to fill in for job searching. They have room for companies I like and websites for searching. Also, she said that networking is important, but there are ways to get around the face-to-face thing, at least in the early stages, and there are mock interviews for later. I'm excited to start out now with my new information.
After work on Friday, my boyfriend and I went to go visit my parents and my grandpa for the weekend. We sat outside, played with the dog, had dinner, then we put on Pandora and danced until midnight. It was really fun, especially when we put on the Weird Al Yankovic station. Polkas are fun!
Most of my Saturday was spent watching lectures on the Middle Ages and sewing. On Sunday, we all went out to the diner for brunch, which was delicious, and we drove around looking at trucks, because my boyfriend needs to sell his car and get a truck. Later, my dad, my boyfriend and I went to see Green Lantern. My dad's a real DC fan (I tend to like Marvel better), so he had better insights into the characters, and told us how the movie differed from the book. The movie was generally enjoyed by all.
On July 4th, my boyfriend did yard work while I sewed. My dad was on call, so he was in the emergency room most of the day, and my mom had to go in to work, too, but as she works at the VA, she said it was a very good use of the day. Neither of them had a full day, though. We played in the yard, and let the bunny run around, which was incredibly cute. A delicious dinner was had and small fireworks were lit. My boyfriend and I had to go home before nightfall, as we both had work today, so we couldn't go out to see the fireworks. We could see them from the car as we drove home, though. Maybe next year we'll go out to see them. Next year, July 4 should be on a Wednesday, I believe. My grandpa said when he was young, there were parades and stuff for the 4th of July, and marching in those parades were veterans of the Civil War.

Job Searching

This Friday, I have an appointment with the career office at school. I'm very hopeful, but a little wary. I'm 27 years old and I've never had a real job before. It's not that I haven't tried -- all I wanted for a long time was to be able to have a real job and support myself. I got close when I was getting my first master's degree (in chemistry) and they paid me for working as a TA. Of course, eventually, I had to graduate and move on. Now, I'm almost done with my second master's degree (biotechnology) and I have to face the job search nightmare once again.
I've always made use of the career offices at my undergrad college and the college where I got my first master's degree, and the advice they gave seemed sound as far as my resume went, but for the most part they just told me to network with people and do informational interviews. My mother had pretty much the same advice. Unfortunately, for a person who needs to remember that looking at the other person while talking is a good thing, this advice is probably the worst I could get. I don't really know how to have a lunch conversation and I don't have clue one about how to go about an informational interview. I need help with real interviews, and for me, informality doesn't help. At all. At least I can do a lot of stuff online, but there's always that stupid interview.
I chose a profession where personal interactions are at a minimum on purpose. It has nothing to do with my job. Now, I am perfectly capable of doing presentations on research and presenting data to a group. I am also capable of writing reports clearly and concisely. What I can't do is one-on-one interview.
Now, I'm not completely deficient in those skills, and I have worked incredibly hard through most of my life to get to where I am, and I am extremely proud of the progress I've made. I can maintain eye contact for more than ten minutes. I can follow a conversation. I even have real friends who I love and who love me back. None of this was really possible when I was 12. I worked really hard and continue to work hard to improve every day. However, I know that no matter how hard I work or what I do, I will never have the same level of skill as someone who was born with it.
A while ago, my mom actually suggested that if I couldn't get a job in a laboratory, I should try pharmaceutical sales. Are you kidding? That was probably the single worst idea I had ever heard. I'd be fired in two weeks, if it took that long. This is the reason I never really had a job before. In college, I worked briefly in the library working on cataloguing slides for lectures, and I also occasionally was a model for art classes. I liked both very much. Anything else, like waitressing or working in the mall or something generally included talking to customers and as such, not something I would be remotely good at, and in high school, something of which I was completely terrified. People still scare me, but not to the degree they once did.
So, in summation, I really hope I can learn how to convince someone to give me a job. I know I can do the actual job, and I am qualified. It's not like I'm applying to be a spy or anything. I just want to work in a lab, and I find it extremely annoying that I have to run this gauntlet using skills I barely have that have nothing to do with the actual job I want to do.

History is Fun

Last week, I ordered and received some lecture DVDs from one of my favorite places, the Teaching Company (www.teach12.com). They have the best professors in their fields do lecture courses on their favorite subjects, then they tape the lectures, and you can listen in your car or watch it on your tv or computer. My dad's favorite are the physics and math lectures, which are fun. I enjoy physics and math, but I also enjoy wider interests, like history, religion, arts, and philosophy. I find it interesting that the more one studies quantum physics and Zen Buddhism, the more they resemble each other.
My new lectures are on the Middle Ages. They started with the late Roman Empire and its transition from Paganism to Christianity, then came the Goths and the Franks and so on. Right now, I'm up to the Carolingian Renaissance, when people started to realize that the Bibles they had were more or less garbled because they were all handwritten, and most at this point were the copy of a copy of a copy, and people began to realize that they were no longer actually speaking Latin, but the beginnings of French, Spanish, and Italian, and the only people who REALLY spoke Latin were the Anglo-Saxon monks, whose native language was not based on Latin, so they had to study hard to learn it. Charlemagne was disturbed at these realizations, because he thought that God could only understand Latin, and if the Bibles, chants and prayer books had all become garbled translations, that Gods could not hear the prayers of the people. So, he ordered all the monks and scholars to re-learn Latin from original sources: Cicero, Ovid, etc. Then, once they had learned Latin properly, they would find the oldest Bible they could, and transcribe from that. In this period, the original Latin works weren't appreciated for their own merits, like they were in the Italian Renaissance, but as a means to an end, to learn proper Latin so God could hear you. Interesting stuff.
There was also a part about missionaries going into Saxony to try and convert the Saxons, as they were still largely Pagan at this time. At this point, the Heliand was written, which is essentially a version of the Bible written in Saxon in the style of the Epic Sagas. So, if you try to imagine the story of Christ written so as to appeal to people who worshipped Thor and Odin, you can get an idea of what a strange narrative it was. Bits of it were read in the lecture. It was strange to see Jesus depicted as a warrior chieftain with graphic depictions of a head wound that went on for at least a paragraph. To us, it doesn't make much sense to depict Jesus this way, as he's generally regarded as a peaceful figure, and much if not all of his message generally consists of "love thy neighbor" and "turn the other cheek" and generally advocating peace and humility before God. To the Saxons, it would have been difficult to imagine such a peaceful figure as being in any way divine or worthy of worship. The whole Christian conversion of the Saxons didn't really go well until Charlemagne conquered them and threatened to cut their heads off if they refused to convert.
History is interesting.

Creativity

I used to write stories. I used to write stories a lot, and I was pretty good at it. One of my stories was published in the school literary magazine in college, and one of my friends enjoyed it so much, she asked me to sign it. I like my stories. I like writing, too. I keep hoping to finally land that 9-5 job and not have real homework anymore so I can get back to doing what I really love, which are my creative endeavors. Labs are cool and science is fun, but something in me just hurts when I'm not making something. It could be a story, a painting, or a complete historical wardrobe, but I have do do it, and I have to make more than one thing, and more than one type of thing at a time. Left entirely to myself, I think I'd still have a laboratory. I'd want to make Christmas trees that glow by themselves, and fantastic new flowers and fruits, but I'd also write and paint and knit and embroider, and make jewelry, and any other craft I can get my hands on.
I have a few ideas for stories and other fun things. The ideas are written down, waiting for me. Every so often, I get an image in my head and I write it down. Stories are movies in my head. I see exactly what's going on, hear the character's voices, then I try to describe my little movie. Maybe I should try my hand at writing scripts.
One idea I had that I thought was fun was to have a story written essentially by tarot cards. I would do a reading for each character and for each scene and act. The storyline would follow the readings, and I'd just fill in the blanks. That would be fun to do. I plan to start that one when I have all my work turned in and my resume sent out, so maybe September!

Litha

What to do about Litha this year? This year, Litha falls on a Tuesday according to my calendar, which is annoying as Tuesday is one of those days when I am at work from 9-5 and then in class from 5-8, so I end up getting home about 9. I'm sure I will end up celebrating it on Wednesday. I don't have both the blue and green outfits finished. I still need to make the green hood and both sets of stockings.
I've always sort of struggled with the meaning of Litha. I know it's the summer solstice and all that, but as far as its spiritual meaning, I've always been a bit fuzzy. It isn't really a day of planting things or harvest like most of the other Sabbats. It's like the opposite of Yule, when we celebrate the birth of the God and wait for his power to come, now we celebrate the end of the first half of His life and bask in the power that is here, and will last until His death.
Last summer, I was reading and I found that, as well as honoring the day that the sun rides at its peak, it's also the day that the faeries come out. Thinking about the meaning of faeries, that makes more sense. Faeries are earth spirits, and are concerned with the welfare of the Earth. So, it's a good day to appeal to these energies if you want to start an earth-friendly project. Also, simply thank them for taking care of things as they already have.
Also, it's good to bathe under the sun on Litha. I guess I'll have to settle for dew picked up on the way to the car and putting my hand in the fountain outside the library. I think one of my Litha prayers will be that, in my next situation, I'll have the time and freedom to celebrate things properly.

Modern Thoughts

What a strange life we live. It occasionally occurs to me how far we have come from the way we have lived for millennia. Even a century ago, our machines were still simple, at least simple enough that it could be easily discerned exactly how each one worked, and it could come from the earth to a hand and be created in relatively few simple steps. I type this on my iPad and I have no idea how it translates my touch into words. I know that there are circuits and the basics of physics and programming, but I've never understood how what someone types as code becomes the motion of a machine.
Please bear in mind, I do not necessarily think this is a bad thing. Obviously, I enjoy using technology for work and entertainment, I just occasionally get this weird feeling of being out of place. Generally speaking, I like to know where a thing comes from, and even better if I can make it myself, like being able to grow my own vegetables or sew my own clothing. I have the knowledge of how to spin thread and weave cloth even if I haven't perfected my technical proficiency in those areas.
I guess I feel like if I can't picture in my head how a thing works, it doesn't feel real to me. All things considered, I might as well be on Star Trek. All I need now is a transporter and warp drive.

Graduation Thoughts

This week has gone by very quickly for me. This past weekend, I went to New York City. My boyfriend and I drove down Sunday morning and we got there about noon, when we met up with my brother for lunch. I always enjoy catching up with my brother. He's my only sibling, and we've always been very close. I never understood siblings who fought all the time.
After that, we went to my friend Carri's ordination ceremony at the Riverside Church. The ordination was the reason that we had gone to New York in the first place. It was actually the most interesting graduation ceremony I have ever attended. Normally, graduation ceremonies are so boring you're spending most of the time trying to figure out how to play with your iPad or whatever device you happen to have without being too obvious to everyone else. At my own college graduation, my aunts and uncles were passing notes and laughing during the convocation, and three of the graduates in my row were listening to music with the ear bud hidden by well-styled hair.
Perhaps the ordination was more interesting to me because it was an Interfaith ordination, and as such there were readings and speeches based in all faiths, and I've always been interested in the religions of the world, and the different ways people view divinity. I also liked how the graduates all had different robes, expressing their individual faith in their own way. They all had their own unique stoles as well. I had made Carri's stole, with ten religious symbols sewn into leaves, all connected by the same vine. I thought it was poetic, and I particularly enjoyed appealing to the energies inherent in each symbol as I sewed them.
After the ordination, we all wen out to dinner, all family and friends, some of whom I hadn't seen since college. Dinner was delicious, and fun is always had when with this particular group of friends.
On Wednesday, I went to another graduation. Unfortunately, this one was the boring kind. My boyfriend's younger sister was graduating from high school. I think it was weird to have it on a Wednesday in the first place. Most people work on weekdays. My cousin is graduating high school this coming weekend- on a SATURDAY! Wednesday graduations, I think, show a view of a very limited world, where everyone you know or would wish to attend your graduation lives close by and gets off work at a predictable time. Granted, some people work Saturdays and such, but the percentage of the population that works during the week as opposed to the weekend, and whose commute takes more than fifteen minutes (I spend up to 40 minutes on a train one way, and the train is usually late) is probably higher than the percentage of the population that couldn't make it to a Saturday event.
However, dinner was nice. My boyfriend's family is interesting and fun. They don't have long conversations about particle physics or other scientific subjects like my family tends to, but they can be interesting, too, and later in the evening, we had a discussion about medieval history, which is a budding interest of mine.
Europe spent over a millennium as the most superstitious, backwards area in the world, and much of who we are today, as people of European descent was formed during that period, and yet relatively few people study it in depth. I think I'm going to buy some lectures while they are still on sale. (A great website I highly recommend to anyone is www.teach12.com . They have lectures on any subject you wish to explore, and they always have sales on interesting things!)

Grammar rule of the day:
There, their, and they're.
"There" is a place that is not "here." You can remember this because "there" is just "here" with a t.
"They're" is a contraction of "they are." If you could just as easily say "they are," then this is the word to use. The apostrophe takes the place of the a in "are."
"Their" is a possessive. It is used to show ownership by a group. "The children are playing with their toys." The toys belong to the children.

Happy thoughts

At this point in my life, I have figured out how to be a happy person at least most of the time. I'm not blindingly happy all the time, more like content. Now, considering the fact that I live in a world that was not built for me filled with people I do not understand, this attitude might not make much sense.
I'm not saying it doesn't take work. It is actually quite tiring when you first start. I did it the same way I learned to look people in the eye whenI talk to them, or to go with the flow of a conversation, as opposed to continuously talking about the same subject when others have moved on. The biggest part of it is being aware. Be aware of your thoughts. Be aware of your actions and your words. Meditation is good for this. Meditation allows you to observe your thoughts and see what they're doing.
Many times, thoughts are like spoiled children. They do whatever they like because no one has ever really corrected them. They must be dealt with the same way. When I was little and I did something wrong, my dad would take me aside (make me stop doing it), asked me if I knew why it was bad, and get me to figure out something better I could be doing. It's the same way with thoughts. You observe them, then you see the thoughts that are not helpful. Thoughts like "This is boring" and "I hate ___" are not particularly helpful. When you think them, realize that these are not helpful, and stop the story. These thoughts will generally develop into a mental tirade if you let them. Stop the tirade. It is hard. The thoughts want to keep going. They're used to doing what they want. They're spoiled, remember? So, you need to be Supernanny. "No, you're not allowed to be over there! Come back over here!"
Next, you need to give the thought something else to do. If you are thinking bad thoughts about a person, try to see the world from their perspective. If you don't like your house, remember that it is YOUR house. It keeps you warm and dry. Think of home improvement projects if you like, to make your house better. Maybe that ugly wall would look better if you painted it yellow? If you're unhappy over the amount of things you have to do, remember that you never HAVE to do anything. You just need to do them if you want them done. They will be done in their own time. Breathe and get through them. It's okay to stop and have some tea. Just go back after.
Eventually, with discipline, spoiled thoughts become obedient thoughts. They will never be totally obedient, but it will get easier to get them on track when they stray.
As far as other things, I like to cuddle with my pet bunny. Bunnies absorb negative energy, as do all pets. Anyone who has ever owned a pet knows this. They take away the unhelpful energy and give you love back. This is why some people with anxiety disorders find it helpful to have a small animal with them at all times (usually a small dog or cat). When they feel overwhelmed, they can pet the animal, and the animal takes away the bad energy.
If you don't have a pet, you can still look at pictures of them, real pictures (www.cuteoverload.com is a good place to find these), or just imagine something pleasant. I make it a point to imagine something pleasant every night before I sleep. I think of bunnies, Bermuda, sparkly fabrics, or anything else that makes me happy. It's good to have a nice image in your head when you sleep.
Another thing that helps me be happy is recognizing that I have no control over other people, or the weather, or Septa, or a great many other things. They are what they are. They will do what they do. Having your train be 2 hours late, or randomly decide that it isn't going to go to your station today, forcing you to walk 15 blocks in the rain, is incredibly annoying. No denying that. However, is it more helpful to complain, or start walking? Is it more helpful to curse as you walk, or admire the way the rain splashes on a statue? Is it better to be angry, or view it as a little adventure in your day?
These are thing that help me. If you're still reading this, I hope you find it helpful too.

Grammar rule for the day:
Apostrophes(') are for contractions and possessives, not plurals.
Example:
"I saw 3 ships." In this example, "ships" is plural (more than 1), so there is no apostrophe.
"I saw the ship's bell." In this example, the bell belongs to the ship, so it gets an apostrophe.
"The ship's sailing away." In this example, "ship's" is a comtraction of "ship is" the apostrophe replaces the missing letter, in this case, the i in "is."
"I saw 3 ships' bells" In this example "ships' " is both plural and possessive, so the apostrophe goes after the s.
For plurals that don't gain an s, like "sheep" and "men," the apostrophe goes before the s. "Men's room."
For things that end in s, like the name "Mrs. Jones," the apostrophe goes after the s. "Mrs. Jones' house."
Please enjoy and use grammar!

Historical Wardrobe Project

A while ago, I had the idea that it would be really fun to have a wardrobe that I could organize chronologically. On one side, there would be an Ancient Egyptian linen dress, a Minoan skirt and blouse, etc., and on the other side would be more modern clothing. In between would be every historical style that I could either find a pattern for, or figure out to make by myself. I decided to start in the 14th century and work my way forwards, and backwards. For each era, I want to have at least 8 different outfits. I've decided to use Sabbat and other holiday colors so I always have an idea of what I'm doing next. I'm also going to make whatever strikes my fancy in the style of the time. For example, I also plan to have a goth outfit, and I'm currently working on a kirtle that can function as a bathing suit, which brings me to another point: I do not plan to stick to historically accurate materials. I'm not wearing wool in the summer. I may change my mind later, but right now I'm using whatever looks okay, won't kill me when I decide to wear it, and is cheap.
As stated, I started this project a while ago, so I do have a portion of it done. I was hoping to post some pics of what I have, but my camera is currently nonfunctional. I will post pics of my work as soon as I either buy a new camera or fix the old one.
Thus far I have made:
1 set of 14th century underwear - actually made of linen. It looks like a sundress.
3 kirtles- one white (for May Day at Bryn Mawr College), one blue, one green (these two for Litha)
2 sideless surcotes- one May Day white and one blue
1 white veil. I wore this to May Day, but, as I understand it, veils of this period were generally white, so I can wear the white veil with other outfits.
Right now I'm working on the "bathing suit" kirtle, which is taking a while because it needs to be reinforced more than the others. I'm also making hoods of various colors to go with the outfits.
As I said, I will post pics as soon as possible, and then keep up with the project as it develops.

Memorial weekend madness

Why is it I get a 3 day weekend, but have no time to write? Perhaps the answer is that I try to fit everything I have or want to do into 3 days. At first, the plan was to spend all 3 days at the beach in New Jersey with my boyfriend's family. Then, the plan changed to include a reunion of the Bryn Mawr College Rocky Horror cast on Saturday night, which meant either driving back and forth from the beach, or driving up at a later time. My boyfriend was upset because he was looking forward to two nights at the beach, but his parents own the house, so it's not like we won't be back again. Later, my mom said she'd really like to see us at some point, especially as she had a rose bush that needed to be replanted. Also, she has been storing our air conditioner for us during the colder months, and with a heat wave on the way we would need it.
Now, the weekend plan was drive to my parents' house on Saturday morning, do yard work and pick up the air conditioner, drive to Bryn Mawr, see my friends and swim in the fountain, the drive to New Jersey at 1 am, spend Sunday at the beach, and come home on Monday. Much craziness, no? In the midst of all that, I enjoyed myself, and even got some sewing in, but isn't the whole point of a 3 day weekend to relax and slow down a bit? Especially Memorial Day weekend, as the whole reason for its existence is to slow down and reflect on the sacrifices made by soldiers past and present in service to their country.
The pace of daily life doesn't really allow for slowing down and reflecting, even on supposed vacations. At least 2 days a week, I get home 1 hour before I need to go to bed to get up the next day. The problem is compounded if you, like me, happen to live in America, the country that takes the least actual vacation time in the Western world. Perhaps what we need to do is just try to slow down inside the speed. Do what you need to do, but don't be rushed about it. It usually gets done faster if you don't try to rush it anyway. Breathe while you work.

Lasers!

Today at work was fun. I got to play with lasers, photoshop, and glow-in-the-dark bacteria. Biotech research is fun.

Colours in the morning

This morning, just as I was about to wake up, my dream started playing the song "Colours" by Donovan. It's such a sweet peaceful song that I didn't mind my alarm going off. These are the lyrics Iheard before waking up:
Yellow is the color of my true love's hair
In the morning as we rise
In the morning as we rise
That's the time, that's the time
I love the best
Blue is the color of the sky
In the morning as we rise
In the morning as we rise
That's the time, that's the time
I love the best.

Usually, I hate waking up more than anything. I get up at 6:30, and between work and class, some days I don't get home until 9. My dreams are the only real vacation I have. This morning, because of that dream, I feel more appreciative of the sun through the trees on the way to the train station, and even the feeling of being awake in my own body. It's a good feeling.

Thoughts about the end of the world

Saturday afternoon, I was riding in my car with my boyfriend. It was his birthday weekend, so we were headed to the shore. Keenly aware of Harold Camping's prediction, we jokingly watched the clock tick down to 6:00. "Another 15 minutes!" and later "Another 10 minutes!" I sang out. We also passed several billboards and what appeared to be several "End of the World" parties in full swing on the way. As the "witching hour" passed, we commented how nothing had happened, but that we wouldn't necessarily have known (I am Pagan-Buddhist and he was raised Catholic, so neither of us would have been Rapture material).
About 6:20, we had to take a detour around what was obviously a very serious accident, as we could make out wreckage from the other road we were forced to take. I realized that the world had ended, for someone. I thought about the other people who had lost so much for this belief, people who had spent their life savings, their children's college funds, quit their jobs, euthanized their pets, committed or attempted suicide, or even tried to kill their families (that last came in a news report from California) because of this belief, this blind faith in a man who had done this before.
The Buddha said "Do not believe what you hear, not even if a holy man says it, not even if I say it, until you have held it up to your own reality and found it to be useful." As an autistic woman, this sentiment has always been central to my life and the way I live it. The world is not built for me, and I understand that, and yet I must still make my way in it. The culture that we live in, and the people we look up to, people we trust, are always telling us how we should act, what we should be doing, how we should be doing it, and what we should believe. I am actually very grateful for my autism* for making me incapable of listening to and internalizing these beliefs.
When first handed a piece of information, I ask myself whether or not it makes logical sense based on the facts I already know, or if it could make sense when incorporated with, and seen through the lens of those other facts. For instance, if someone told me that someone made a working transporter like the kind in Star Trek, I might partially believe them, as I know that this is something that some physicists are working on, but at the moment, these machines are capable only of transporting single particles. So, transporters exist, but we'll have to wait a while before we can say goodbye to our daily commute. If someone tells me the end of the world is coming, I know that in a few million years the sun will swell up and swallow the Earth as well as a few other planets. I also know that every civilization eventually declines, Egypt, Greece, Rome, the British Empire, the list goes on. We would be silly to think that this would not happen to America. Do I think it will happen in one hour on one day? No.
Also, one cannot be inflexible. If new evidence comes to light that shows a prior assumption to be false, the assumption must be let go. When I was little, people thought all dinosaurs were scaly. Now, we know that some of them had wings. In the 50s, no one really thought of personal computers, and now I am typing this on my iPad. Ideas must change as new information comes to light. Sometimes, change can be uncomfortable, or even frightening. I know this better than most. Even so, I have learned to embrace change when necessary. A thing that cannot change cannot grow. A thing that cannot grow is dead.
Finally, the last test of anything, is it useful? This is the most subjective part of the process and most unique. For example, I was raised in a Christian church. For many, Christianity is useful, and their lives are enriched by it. I, however, did not find it useful. I could not grasp a book that was claimed to be consistent, yet was not. I could not rationalize some teachings with what I know to be true of the world, and I could not see how God could be exclusively male. I always had the innate sense that Diety had to encompass both genders as well as a sense of being neither. I found what I was looking for in my current spiritual expression. Paganism gives me Gods and Goddesses, as well as Dieties that encompass both genders and some that avoid that question altogether. I like the cyclical nature of the Sabbats. The Wheel of the Year gives me comfort and joy. My magick and my prayers, as well as my divinations give me a sense of comfort and safety in a world that would be otherwise terrifying. Buddha gives me the ability to let go of things when I need to, and to accept change, the ability to become quiet amid the noise.
Life is hard sometimes, and scary, and it's always easier to let someone else think for you, but it is seldom if ever worth it.


*When I say "my autism" I mean MY autism. Autism is EXTREMELY variable. My experience may be the same or completely opposite someone else's. Whatever I say should be taken as my experience alone.

My first post! ... And zombies.

I saw that the CDC website now has disaster preparedness instructions for the Zombie Apocalypse. I think it's fitting that my first post includes zombies, as they seem to be a theme in my life, more than likely because my Patron Diety is Wsir.
I think it's interesting about the whole "May 22 End of the World" thing. I heard some of the people who believe it actually spent their life savings getting the word out through billboards and other things. It's supposed to start at 6pm at the International Date Line and roll through the world by time zone.
My boyfriend and I are going to the beach this weekend for his birthday, which is actually today, but neither of us have time to do anything until then. I guess we'll have some seafood and watch the world explode or something.